Thursday, August 27, 2009

I don't want to grow up...

is what my oldest daughter told me two nights ago as she cried in my bed. She started sixth grade and is now going to middle school. She never gave me the impression that she was scared or nervous about school but the night before school started she came into my room upset that she could not go to sleep. We talked about how it will be an adjustment but it will be fun. Change is difficult. I personally don't do well with it and I think she has inherited lots from her momma. The next morning, I brought her to school and as we got closer to the school the tears in her eyes began to well up. I thought since it was middle school she wouldn't want me to walk her in but she did want that and I was so happy to do so. We got her settled then she gave me a big hug and went off to her class. As I walked out of the school the tears in my eyes began to well up and I cried all the way home. When I picked her up she seemed as though it was a good day and I was relieved. Then it happened again. I could hear her crying in my room and that's when she told me she doesn't want to grow up. I held her and told her I didn't want her to grow up either which is exactly how I felt. She is just overwhelmed. Everyday will get better and it will take some time to adjust. It just breaks my heart that I can't take the pain away from her. If I could I would do it in a heartbeat. That is not the right way of thinking just a mother's way. It made me think of all the times I used to tell my Mom that I loved her more than she loved me but she always said it wasn't so. As I was holding Avery and we were having the same argument I realized that my Mom was right. As a kid you can't imagine you could love something so much until you become a mother.

What is a Mother's love?
It is something that is very, very special.

It is something that no one can really explain.

It's something that is made up of much deep
devotion, joy, pain and sacrifice.

It is endless and unselfish and it endures
whatever may come.

It is full of hopes, dreams, tears and pleasure.

Nothing can ever destroy it or take that
special love away.

It is very patient and forgiving.

A Mother's love is a lifelong commitment

to selflessness.

More often than not, it requires much more
giving than receiving.

But it is something that is given with delight,

gratitude, enthusiasm and much satisfaction.

A Mother's love never fails or falters even

though the heart is breaking.

It is always believing when all the rest of the

world is condemning.

A Mother's love is a splendored miracle that man
cannot understand.

It is something that cannot be measured,

for it has no beginning or no end.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Summer coming to a close...

I guess you could say the summer is coming to a close since the kids start school Tuesday. It surely went by quickly. The house will be quiet and as crazy as it sounds I don't necessarily like it. Having five kids in the house makes for pure entertainment.

In June, we went to Gulf Shores with the family and it was a blast. The kids got to party down with their cousins. I think the hardest part of living in Texas is that the kids aren't getting to grow up with their cousins. I do know the times they are together they are creating some lifelong memories.
In two weeks, I have my "A" race of the season, The Austin Triathlon. I've done this race before but this time is different. I signed up to race with the LiveStrong triathlon team. I set a goal to raise $1,ooo for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. I am so grateful that I can train like I do. I've had a motto in my head for a long time which is "I do this for those who can't". I think about all of the people fighting for their life as cancer fights to take it from them. It sucks. Cancer sucks. So when I'm busting my butt on Labor Day I know Mom's spirit will be with me every step of the way! I can't wait.